grumpy morning

hubby is throwing yet another sicky...not a blody thing wrong with him that a bit of work wouldn't fix so I am going to have to be extrememly careful today and I am in a fowl mood have had little sleep and now his little outburst so comfort food stay out of my way today if u know what is good for you. ggrr men. I lived in a fantasy world b4 marred that husband would work and take all the worries of money away gee was I ever in a dream world...he hasn't stuck at a job for more than 2 yrs and some he lasted only hours and I have carried the can and worked up to 5 jobs to keep us a float...sick to death of it lazy bastard will be cooking for himself again soon if he doesn't buck his ideas up. Funniest of all of this is his hairbrain ideas he comes up with latest is a new car..of course when I said don't be so fucken stupid and wat are we to pay for this new car with was when the sulking started and now we are so sick can't go to work. Also saying yesterday to get a contractor into do the garden or jungle again wat is going to pay for this oh yeah or the trip to America he wants to do to go to American Choppers workshop not to mention how many times has he asked in last week when are we going to Australia well if we are going to see the new baby after the child is born would be a good idea yes so after Ausgust.
Rant over

The thing I just realised

and have been balling my eyes out for last 30mins

If I hadn't seen the light, if I hadn't got my shit together and lost this weight and improved my health-would I be here today and waiting for the birth of my first grandchild in less than 7mths.

Simple answer to that I don't think so

I started this journey at 172kilos

I didn't care how I looked

I didn't care what others thought

I didn't want to live

I just didn't give a toss...

if I hadn't got it together I would be 180 kilos even 190 kilos plus cause I just was eating myself to death

I truely believe I would be if not heavier I would be dead NOW I wouldn't be here to have heard my baby boy tell me he was having a baby. I wouldn't be here to see that little grand baby

What have I got out of loosing 50plus kilos I have got back my life.

Yeah I have walked miles, I have changed my size trousers, I have riden a bike, I have gained confidence...I have done all of this but most importantly what I have got from this is to hear my baby is going to be a Dad.

NEW YEAR

New resolutions.

Friday after work went for drinks after work to many drinks-woke on the door step very late very sick.

Saturday was very ill. Did manage a walk but each step was very loud.

Had a fantastic Xmas.

Hubby and I went for an awesome walk Xmas morning after breakfast. Went to claycliffs in Omarama awesome felt like I was a mountain goat climbing over the rocks...something I've wanted to do since moving her nearly 20 yrs ago...last time I went with friends about 6 yrs ago and I only was able to walk half way from carpark and had to go back to steep spend at least an hour in there climbing about.

Came home had late lunch early tea of platter with meats and cheeses etc scrummy. And of course some dessert.

Son phoned about 10.30 from Sydney...I'm goning to be a Granny...they had tried rining earlier but we wer out. Due in August so I have been knitting and buying like crazy on trade me MUST STOP-but I'm goning to be a Granny. Exciting isn't it.

Boxing day my brother, neice her partner and there son arrived mid afternoon. We had presents from under the tree lots of fun with a 3yr old sharing all the fun. About 5 we had food...cold meats chicken, ham, salmon and salads lettuce-bean-beetroot-potato. Then Xmas pudding, broken glass jelly (I made healthier amendments-yogurt instead of cream, diet jelly, and crushed pineapple in natural juice) pavlova put whipped cream on it except one piece which I had mine with natural yogurt. ATE TO MUCH.

Back to work Wednesday.

NY's weekend

No drinking so my 4 day weekend was much more relaxed.
Saturday did some house work etc
Sunday 2 hrs hill walk
Monday 3hrs ironing
Tuesday 4hr walk at Lake Tekapo to Mt John Observitory-fantastic...bit steep at begining and I thought I was going to have to give in but I made it. We took picnic lunch so had it on top of the summit. (DOC summer holiday program)
Wednesday bac to work busiest day of the year-we coped.

I managed to finish Dec only 200gms heavier than I was on 22nd but since have gone a bit over the top and many slip ups and nibbles. I will get the hang of this all again next week afterall I have to I have a grand baby to be fit and healthy for.